The Mommy Interview, Part 2

Q: What’s the most unexpected thing for you to date about the pregnancy?

A: I guess that it’s been so low key and easy.  I always felt that my body was sensitive to hormone changes, so I assumed that pregnancy would kick my butt.  It’s a great relief to know that it hasn’t, at least not this time.  But it was definitely surprising.

Oh, thought of another one while writing an answer down below…I knew people would want to share their own thoughts and experiences which is why we had already decided to keep names to ourselves.  I didn’t expect the whole “Are you finding out the gender or not?” to feel like open season for sharing.  Most other parents have simply asked and then stated their reasoning for having done one or the other, but some have actually tried to push their opinion.  It’s not a problem that they do; it was just unexpected and seemed to be a bigger discussion point than I anticipated.

Q: Is there anything you’re really not looking forward to coming up with your pregnancy?

A: I’m sure there are tests and labor/delivery things that won’t be the most fun experiences, but I don’t think I’d put them on an “I wish I could avoid this part at all costs” sort of list.  I feel like, for now, I’m aware enough of the unpleasant things that I’m not really worried about them.  They’re just a small part of the overall process, which I know is going to be worth it.  I’ll let you know if this changes.

Q: What are you most looking forward to about having a baby?

A: I don’t even know where to begin.  Everything that I mentioned being excited for in my answer a couple of questions back.  Watching him/her learn and grow.  Getting to know his/her personality.  Helping him/her through challenging moments.  Sharing something as amazing as a life with you (sorry if that’s too sappy).  Starting a new phase of life, for myself and for us.  Seeing you interact and being a daddy.  The incredible amount of love that I know will surround our child, from us, and from our family and friends.

Q: What are you least looking forward to? What worries you or scares you?

A: How the sleep deprivation will affect all 3 of us.  How we’re going to handle the financial burden of this whole year.  The arguments we will inevitably be having over silly little things.  Figuring out how and when to talk with our kids about the subjects that bring up controversy…religion, relationships, sex, money, politics.  I feel confident/positive in general, but when thinking about the long term specifics, there is definitely some uncertainty. I think what makes me less worried is that I know you and I will be able to figure things out together, and that we have such incredible resources in our families to help guide us when we need it.

Q: Do you expect you’ll need to give anything up when the baby arrives?

A: I can’t think of anything that would have to be fully given up, except maybe sleeping.  I used to think that having a baby meant sacrificing your own life, but not anymore.  We’ll both be able to get away and do the things we enjoy, with or without Baby in tow.  There may be things I end up giving up because I want to, but not because I have to.

Q: Have you gotten any really good advice so far?

A: Hmm…nothing that’s been truly ground-breaking, but certainly suggestions that have proven helpful.  For pregnancy, the extra pillow(s) for sleeping seem to be a pretty solid recommendation.  I’m still figuring out how best to utilize them, but it has been reasonably helpful so far.  For parenting, I’m not sure how much advice either of us has really received on the subject.  Probably a lot, but there’s so much going on, especially right now, that I can’t think of anything specific.  Plus, we always tell people that they can share all the thoughts and advice they want, but that it’s up to us to decide what we do and don’t heed.  I think you may have thrown that into a blog post too.  I think maybe my brain is too swamped with other things to come up with anything else on this right now.

Q: Is there any advice you think you’d like to give at this point to anyone in the same position or thinking about becoming a parent?

A: I’m sure I can come up with a few things… For people who are trying to conceive or thinking about it, I’d tell them to do their best to be patient.  It’s an exciting time, and when you’re ready, it just makes you that much more eager to have it be reality.  But things often don’t happen as quickly as we would like them to, so patience is important.  Keeping relaxed and just allowing yourself to enjoy the experience (yes, in that way as well) will only help you.  It can take a while for things to work, and that’s ok.  Just stay cool.  For people who are newly PG, I guess I would just recommend that they inform themselves, but remember to take everything they read with a grain of salt.  There is a lot of conflicting information out there, and the best thing to do is have open discussions about it, with each other and with your Dr.

Q: How about for a new Dad… any words of advice for them?

A: OK, I’ll use this one to continue the last one (…step onto soapbox…).

Really, from my own point of view, communication is just about the most important thing for any couple, pregnant or not.  Both parties need to feel comfortable sharing their concerns and hopes with the other in order for things to run smoothly.  When it comes to pregnancy, even though it’s a shared experience, everything you each go through is so completely different.  It’s really important for a Dad-to-be to feel like he’s a part of what’s going on, and not just a bystander.  And it’s just as important for a Mom-to-be to not feel alone in process.  I think a lot of your blog posts have brought up good points on this front…dads can educate themselves as much as possible, they can talk with mom about how she’s feeling, physically and emotionally.  I think as long as both people feel supported by the other, things will be fine.

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