Ways Babies are like Rockstars
- Primary mode of transportation is essentially crowdsurfing (credit on this one, and post inspiration from the incomparable Mike Phirman)
- It’s best to keep them away from both narcotics and sharp objects
- Very real chance they will choke on their own vomit
- Never more than a couple hours from having breasts in their face
- Their wailing draws a crowd
- Have an entourage
- Surrounded by people who can’t really understand what they’re saying, but desperately want to please them
- Tendency to urinate in inconvenient locations
- Don’t need to show ID to get in anywhere
- Popularity is frequently totally independent from discernible talent
- The opening act can be pretty painful
- Encore performances depend pretty heavily on how well the crowd responds to the first set
Addenda! Now with bonus awesome suggestions from friends!
- Public nudity is considered acceptable (credit to everyone’s favorite Heroes scribe Oliver Grigsby)
- If needs are not met swiftly enough, wailing, thrown objects and general tantrums will ensue (credit to Vic, owner of wonderdogs Mango and Ginger)
#1 by Trent on May 24, 2010 - 9:42 AM
Haha. Comedy.
#2 by Oliver Grigsby on May 24, 2010 - 10:01 AM
Public nudity is considered socially acceptable
#3 by Badmoodman on May 25, 2010 - 7:32 AM
They’re both big on iPood.
(cough)