Babies: Tiny Rockstars

Ways Babies are like Rockstars

  • Primary mode of transportation is essentially crowdsurfing (credit on this one, and post inspiration from the incomparable Mike Phirman)
  • It’s best to keep them away from both narcotics and sharp objects
  • Very real chance they will choke on their own vomit
  • Never more than a couple hours from having breasts in their face
  • Their wailing draws a crowd
  • Have an entourage
  • Surrounded by people who can’t really understand what they’re saying, but desperately want to please them
  • Tendency to urinate in inconvenient locations
  • Don’t need to show ID to get in anywhere
  • Popularity is frequently totally independent from discernible talent
  • The opening act can be pretty painful
  • Encore performances depend pretty heavily on how well the crowd responds to the first set

Addenda! Now with bonus awesome suggestions from friends!

  • Public nudity is considered acceptable (credit to everyone’s favorite Heroes scribe Oliver Grigsby)
  • If needs are not met swiftly enough, wailing, thrown objects and general tantrums will ensue (credit to Vic, owner of wonderdogs Mango and Ginger)
  1. #1 by Trent on May 24, 2010 - 9:42 AM

    Haha. Comedy.

  2. #2 by Oliver Grigsby on May 24, 2010 - 10:01 AM

    Public nudity is considered socially acceptable

  3. #3 by Badmoodman on May 25, 2010 - 7:32 AM

    They’re both big on iPood.


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