Being relaxed about a pregnancy probably shouldn’t be the kind of thing to feel guilty about.

We’re about halfway through this second pregnancy and it occupies a relatively small portion of my mental RAM. I of course think about the baby when I see Janelle, and when I get a chance to feel little kicks, and when we have Joshua try and talk to the belly (always “Hi baby. What are you doing in there baby!” because he heard me say that once) and when it occurs to me that there’s some item we’ll need to purchase or plan for once the baby has arrived. But relative to Joshua’s time in the womb, this isn’t really much on the Richter scale.

Everything with Joshua has gone pretty well. So far no major illnesses or injuries. We get by with almost no TV or electronics these days. He eats all the same food we eat and eats a lot of it. Books are probably his favorite toys. He likes being around other people. He does pretty well and that suggests to me that at best we’re doing a good job with him and at worst we’re managing to not screw up the path he’s already on.

As a result, I think it’s safe to say we’re feeling pretty comfortable as we get closer to having our second child. Sure, daycare will be even more expensive than it already is, but at this point the impending infant isn’t a terrifyingly fragile little creature that there is a real chance I will scar for life. It’s a little kid that can’t run away from you, weighs much less than 35 pounds, doesn’t poop (not really, not relatively) and has to do everything you say. It sounds pretty awesome. Except for the part about less sleep for a couple months. That’s still a bummer.

Janelle and I can’t really shake the feeling though that we’re trading an easy infancy for a disconnected pregnancy. I don’t think there’s any question that we’ll be pretty attached to the squidgy baby when it arrives, but we just don’t have a lot of time to sit and ponder this baby like we did with Joshua and as senseless as that may be it feels like the baby is getting shortchanged.

  1. #1 by Vic on February 1, 2013 - 12:13 PM

    I’m not truly trying to equate the complexity of raising a baby to raising a puppy but N and I experienced the exact same thing when we adopted Ginger after Mango. Mango initially got all of our worry, love, attention and thoughts. Try as we might we could not muster the same intensity for Ginger. We love her just the same but there is a definitive lack of *needing* to be extremely involved with Ginger’s growth. Odd how that works out.

    • #2 by mscarpel on February 1, 2013 - 12:35 PM

      Oh raising a kid is TOTALLY like raising a dog. I am completely serious that basically all the same principles apply.

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